I truly believe that not having confidence in yourself then your relationship is going to turn to shit. I think that you need to have confidence in yourself for you and other people to see. Without having confidence other people may not have the respect for you that you deserve, you may not know when to walk away if your relationship is detrimental to your overall health, or you may just be deteriorating your relationship with your insecurities. There is a fine line between confidence and cocky though. You can’t treat yourself like royalty and like you are better than anyone else, but do know your self worth and have confidence that you are great.
The five most important characteristics I look for when choosing a relationship are- honesty, fun, intelligent, driven, and physical attraction.
Without honesty your relationship isn’t going to work out. You don’t want your relationship to be sitting on lies- whether it be you are lying to social media about how happy you are, or you are lying to each other about what you are doing. When in a relationship you are working as a team, not against each other. Don’t cause trust issues over a silly lie either. Just be honest to yourself and others with where you are in your relationship, be honest about your views, be honest about everything. I would never want to be in a relationship and come out of it thinking that all was a lie. Honesty is key to a relationship, with honesty comes loyalty!
Fun- YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. You truly only have one life to live and that is SO SCARY. It doesn’t matter if you are in a long term or short term relationship with someone, make memories! Go out and do things. Take pictures. Laugh together. Go for bike rides. Go on hikes. Go to concerts. Go to dinner. Travel. Make memories that you can share with each other and other people. I feel like Cam (my boyfriend) and I constantly always have something fun planned that we are looking forward to. Having fun is my goal in life, if I am having fun then I have truly lived.
Intelligent- I don’t want someone who is stupid. That sounds so harsh but I don’t. I want to have conversations with you about politics, and the future, and school, and your plans, intellectual conversations about the freaking krebs cycle. I just want to have a conversation with you where I am learning new things and you are learning things from me (that you understand, not things that you sit there and pretend you understand) Being dumb is not cute! You can help yourself so PLEASE help yourself!
Driven- I think having a worth ethic is so attractive. WANT to better yourself and WORK to better yourself. You can always move up the ladder, always. Do things to make something of yourself without it just getting handed to you. Be driven to be smarter, to be more fit, to be more intelligent, to be more of yourself for yourself. Being the best you can be should be a goal for yourself and you have to be driven to achieve your goal. Have high expectations of yourself because you can do wonderful things.
Physical attraction- This does not mean that I am shallow. I want someone who I am physically attracted to, and the traits above also play a huge role. I want someone who presents themselves in a nice way.
okay I’m going to add one more, BE KIND- one time my boyfriend cancelled our plans because he forgot he told his grandma he would take her to church AND HOW COULD I EVEN BE MAD. I went to church with them also. Even though I had been looking forward to our plans he over scheduled himself and that’s okay. I want someone with manners, who is nice to people, and who is truly a delight to have around.
I think that some opposite traits do attract. Like some people date their polar opposite of them and that’s fine, they’re balanced out. I think that my boyfriend and I are a lot alike with our personality traits, our goals in life, how caring we both are towards each other and other people. We work really well as a team, as we should. We do have different characteristics though but nothing that would steer us away from being unattracted to each other. We have different hobbies, where as he likes to golf I am a horrible golfer and get stressed out. Or where I like to be independent he likes for me to go with him to run errands. Knowing that we can do things separately and we are two individuals is what makes what we have work.